March of the Head Cannons
by KashianXanthe
Summary: This is a series of one-shots based on famous head-cannons. Requests are welcome as long as they are cannon and that you can also supply me with the original author(s) of the head cannon so that I can give them credit. All of these shorts are based on my own interpretations of the head cannons. No inappropriate themes. All characters welcome. Thank you!


**March of the Head Cannons**

 _By: KKM_

 _Disclaimer:_ I do not own the _Harry Potter_ series or any associated characters. _Harry Potter_ is © J. K. Rowling.

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 _ **"The Sordid Affair"**_

A small hum of satisfaction escaped Ginny Potter's lips as she took her last bite of chicken pâté. She allowed her eyes to close a moment as she savored the creamy flavor before opening her eyes again and catching her husband's eyes as he gazed adoringly from across the table at her.

Today was their second anniversary and Harry had decided to treat them to a rather swanky little restaurant in downtown Wizarding-London. They were in a private room where they would be safe from wondering eyes wanting to catch a glimpse of the now Man-Who-Lived. She knew that he was always content to stay out of the public eye so it always warmed her heart when he would go out of his way to treat her on date nights. He'd even worn a tailored robe (which she secretly knew he couldn't stand) just for her to make their night just that little bit more special for her.

"I'm glad you like it," he said with a boyish grin. His bright, green eyes were sliding over the simple black dress she had chosen to wear with appreciation. He gave a small sigh and then let his gaze drift away as his smile became more musing. "It's too bad this will be our last anniversary together…" his voice drifted off a moment before his eyes ghosted back to hers with a sudden twinkle. "I've filed for a divorce."

" _Wha-?"_ Ginny nearly choked on her wine before her cheeks flushed a brilliant red. Her eyes darted to the side a moment. She struggled not to snort before coughing and re-composing herself. She met his eyes again and gave him what she hoped was a wistful look.

"Is it because I snogged Neville?" she asked candidly, batting her eyelashes teasingly at him.

" _Nooo,_ " he replied somewhat smugly as he took a sip of his own wine. When he sat his glass back down, he gave her a serious look. "It's because _I'm_ snogging Neville." He took in her shocked face with a proud smirk of his own.

"Goddamnit, Harry, let me have my affair in peace!" Ginny exclaimed, crossing her arms in feigned annoyance. She gave him a mock-glare before standing from the table.

Harry shook his head with a wry grin as he also stood and kindly helped her put her jacket on. "You'll just have to find some other poor sod to seduce, my dear. The herbologist is mine," he told her calmly. Then he paused, leaning closer to her and whispering into her ear mischievously, "I hear he's rather good with a sword."

Ginny gasped, nearly laughing out loud as she spun away from him and tried not to look at his now suggestively wiggling eyebrows. Her voice was trembling a little as she cleared her throat and headed toward the exit. "Oh well, I hear Goyle is single these days."

Harry's mouth dropped open as he quickly tossed some galleons at the table and then jogged to catch up with her.

"Goyle!?" his exclamation was faintly heard as the couple vanished through the door.

The wait staff never did notice the beetle that had also made its escape through a nearby window.

The next morning when a stuttering and very red Neville Longbottom came falling through their floo clutching the morning edition of _The Daily Profit's_ exposé of their elicit love triangle, Ginny and Harry absolutely could _not_ stop laughing.

"Happy anniversary, Love," Harry kissed her, ignoring Neville's stammering in the background.

He'd get over it eventually.

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 **Based on Head Cannon by** _ **emnneryn**_ **and** _ **aenramsden**_ **.**

I chose the head cannon simply because it made me laugh and I could totally see something like this happening.

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 **A/N: **

Right now, I have been having a bit of writer's block and I haven't written anything fanfiction related or personal. So, to try and at least get some creative juices floating, I decided that I would keep my mind limber by writing small shorts that are based off of head cannons. I am aware that there are most likely several of these in existence, but these are my own versions of these stories usually based off of a paragraph of head cannon at the most. At the end of each short I will credit the original author of my source. I will most likely not re-state the head cannons in their entirety because that might be seen as plagiarism. But my hope is that if you google the original author of the head cannon in Google images, then you will be able to see where I've taken my inspiration from.

If there is a head cannon that you would like to see, you are more than welcome to leave it in the comments and please credit the original people's screen names that are usually in the images of the original head-cannons. If I see one I like, I will try to use it. I do want to stay mostly cannon, but if I see one that really speaks to me then I may try to write something in relation to it.

If you ask me to do a head cannon that you state is your own, please know that I will google it to make sure that it is really your head cannon. I do not want to short the original people their due respect.

Please also note that I am not nor have I ever given up on _The Empty Canvas_ or _Harry Potter and the Flip of a Niccal_. I am just looking for a way to get over my writer's block. I have detailed outlines for both stories, but they are very long stories so I have been taking a break from them.

Thank you!


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